Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
