You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize