We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
