the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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