Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
