Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
