you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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