Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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