if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize