Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize