My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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