why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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