It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
