he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
