I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
