Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish you could order shots online.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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