please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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