now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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