i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
