strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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