She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
