Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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