eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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