I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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