Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
