Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
