Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
