I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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