i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize