the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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