Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No subtext here. People are naked.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
