lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
