Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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