Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm really busy with my period
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