when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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