I just made out with a guy for $7.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
