went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
