just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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