so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
