You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
