my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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