I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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