If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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