If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
