PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Terrible idea I love it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
