I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Found the puke drawer
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
