he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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