I just cut my nipple shaving
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
