How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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