i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
