dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
