need another drink. this is the easiest way
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
