I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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