So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
