I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just blew my weed a kiss
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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