I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
