i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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