I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
